my daughter is a military wife for 13 yrs and is going thru a divorce and her husband has forced her to sign a separation agreement where basically he has custody of the kids and just expects her to leave and give them up cuz she is bipolar. He has manipulated her and keeps trying to get her to leave her children she adores. They both have issues. Doesn’t she have any rights? She also didnt work since they kids both of them agreed. The way he has this is he wants the kids, get rid of her and move on no child support, no alimony, just push her out but the kids need her and she isnt giving up those kids. I told her find someone to help you, youve been a military wife for 13 yrs there must be someone that can help her. I live out of state and try but he’s so abusive mentally to her and treats her badly in front of the kids.
Thanks those were really good sites. I wrote some emails and took down some phone numbers. Thanks very much! I don’t want her to lose her boys.
i can see how you would feel like you need to be there for your daughter but remember, it’s up to her to figure out…not you. and if things don’t pan out where she has custody you could potentially lose seeing the kids at all too. so if i was you i’d try to find common ground-WITHOUT fighting- with the ex husband and do that for the kids. you guys are all going to have to eventually get along enough to be around the kids and for them to be fully functional and not deeply hurt by all of their drama. it’s not the kids fault this marriage went south…maybe they need a mediator or something? i’d look into that. they need to figure out how to be okay around each other so that they don’t take any more away from the kids. it’s not about those two any more. it’s much bigger than them =) good luck
Thank you, it’s a mess. They hate each other but he wants to punish her by taking the kids away from her. She adores those kids it’s a mess and they adore her. She’s Momma. I feel like there should be some type of help she can get thru the military but she doesn’t seem to go try anything. I think he’s brainwashed her to just go along with everything he says which changes daily. He calls her names shoves her around in front of the kids and now he has her living in the detached garage 104 degrees.
I will let her live with me but im in Ohio and she’s there. I don’t want her to give up the boys but Mike is trying to make it so hard for her she has no choice. I keep encouraging her but not sure what to do exactly. It would seem she should ahve some rights since she is still married till sept to a military man.
She’s now trying to find a job and a place to live so they can attempt to share custoday of the boys. He wanted me to take them all for the summer and then come back before school starts and take them back leaving my daughter Hiedi here to start her life over & leave her kids. He is still married to her and whether he likes it or not she wants to be there in NC being with her babies. She’s a good mom very nurturing as I am, she says. they adore her she’s momma.They would be lost without her and she without him. I am encouraging her and supporting her and praying she can get it together there with the boys close by if not in the same house. She can do it, Mike was manipulating and brainwashing her into thinking she wasn’t capable but I know she is…
I know. I hope all this works out.
If they are still legally married and she still has her military ID card there are a lot of resources out there for her. I am not sure what branch the Soldier is in but I am most familiar with Army resources so I will speak from that standpoint (my understanding is most of these resources are available to all branches but may be called different programs.) The first thing she should do is head over to Army Community Services (or its equivalent) and ask to speak to someone in the Family Advocacy Program. There she will find someone who will help her and guide her through a lot of the things that she is going through from the abuse, the living situation, and her mental health. If her husband forced her to sign anything she also needs to go to JAG (preferably bringing a copy of any of the documents she feels she was forced to sign) and inform them of the situation. She should let them know that she did not sign these documents of her free will and see what they can do to help her. Finally, she should talk to the Chaplain in her husbands unit. He also has a lot of resources available to him. To give an example: my husband’s unit had a Soldier and spouse with a similar situation as your daughter and the Chain of Command actually removed the Soldier from the family home and put him in the barracks until issues could be resolved. I am not saying this will happen, I am simply offering that there are so many resources (including the Soldier’s unit) that are available as long as she is a military ID card holder, but if she doesn’t take advantage of them and inform people of her situation then they cannot help her. Also, since she is trying to find work when she is in Army Community Services she should also stop in their Employment Readiness Office as they can help her to seek employment and with resumes, etc.
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