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Adjusting – Tip #447

Getting Another Groove: Adjusting To Their Return – Tip #447

My husband has just returned from being away for over 2 months. In 2 months I have created new systems and/or routines – I don’t trip over rucksacks and combat boots left right at the door, the butter knife is not lying in the sink rather than being put in the dishwasher and I happily moved to sleeping in the middle of the bed to name just a few subtle changes! In previous years the adjustment back to life together has been challenging at times. I usually blamed it on him being away and then wanting things to go back to how he wanted them or my being incredibly resentful that he got a break from everyday life (although I would not call what he is doing a “break”). This time I thought this through a little more (for those who know me, this is not my strong point). I decided to be pro-active and get things in the house ready for change (and hopefully myself too). They were little things but I have decided that they made a big difference.  The last thing you want is to have your family member returning home and feeling unwelcome and unwanted.



* If you moved where the mail or where something else goes, move it back (they will probably move whatever it is back anyway!)

* Clear an area by the door for them to put their combats/gear (for you to trip over when you come through the door) 🙂

* Make a welcome back sign and post it up (I left this for my kids to do)

* A couple of nights before he/she returns, start sleeping on your side of the bed again

* Get some of their favourite things to eat and drink and put them in the fridge and cupboards

* Leave the calendar as empty as possible for the first week back so they can fill it with you

* Print a few good pictures from your phone or camera of things that you did while he/she was away so you can fill them in

* Make a list of all the things you missed about them and post it on the fridge

* If you were using a space that was considered “theirs” tidy it up and let it be reclaimed

* Get out all the bathroom things that you put away while they were gone

* Clean up the bedroom of your clutter and make it a welcoming place (despite your sadness that you cannot take up the whole bed anymore)

* If you were letting a pet sleep on the bed, begin at least a week in advance, training them to sleep elsewhere


For more information about our tips, books and resources go to: www.whileyouwereaway.org



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