Reader’s Tip of the Week – #10

Make Decisions Together Even When Apart

This last deployment I made sure to include imy husband in on all the bigger changes and punishments.  When my son wanted to start walking home from school, I told him we would wait for dad’s opinion, same thing when my daughter wanted a very short haircut.   Also grades, my son brough home a bad grade, I gave him an immediate restriction but made sure he knew we would be talking to his Dad too.  I feel this keeps my husband in the loop, the kids know just because their dad is gone it doesn’t mean he’s not involved, and for me, I don’t always have to be the bad guy all alone.  These are things he would have input in if he were home and with technology, we had regular communication.

Jo-Anna – Fort Carson, Colorado Springs

Our tips too:

Whether you are able to communicate regularly or not,  there are some things to include your absent family member…

* Remember not to make instant, implusive statements or decisions – there are very few things in family life that need an immediate response

* Talk about rewards and consequences before your family member leaves – first in private (to ensure you are on the same page) and then present as a united front to the entire family so that everyone is hearing the same message from everyone else

* Ask your friends or children for their opinion about what your absent family member would think, say or do – they are often very aware

* Make a list of things that you want to tell, ask or consult with them about and send it in an email and keep a copy by the phone (they may not have access to email and you want the list ready for when they call)

For more information about our tips, resources and/or books, go to: http://www.whileyouwereaway.org

To submit a tip of your own, write to: Megan@whileyouwereaway.org (If we use your tip, we’ll send you one of our books, of your chosing)

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