Make Decisions Together Even When Apart
This last deployment I made sure to include imy husband in on all the bigger changes and punishments. When my son wanted to start walking home from school, I told him we would wait for dad’s opinion, same thing when my daughter wanted a very short haircut. Also grades, my son brough home a bad grade, I gave him an immediate restriction but made sure he knew we would be talking to his Dad too. I feel this keeps my husband in the loop, the kids know just because their dad is gone it doesn’t mean he’s not involved, and for me, I don’t always have to be the bad guy all alone. These are things he would have input in if he were home and with technology, we had regular communication.
Jo-Anna – Fort Carson, Colorado Springs
Whether you are able to communicate regularly or not, there are some things to include your absent family member…
* Remember not to make instant, implusive statements or decisions – there are very few things in family life that need an immediate response
* Talk about rewards and consequences before your family member leaves – first in private (to ensure you are on the same page) and then present as a united front to the entire family so that everyone is hearing the same message from everyone else
* Ask your friends or children for their opinion about what your absent family member would think, say or do – they are often very aware
* Make a list of things that you want to tell, ask or consult with them about and send it in an email and keep a copy by the phone (they may not have access to email and you want the list ready for when they call)