1001 Tips for Military Families – Tip #445

Posted on April 15, 2013 by meganegerton

When You Get Back Box – Tip #445

My husband is about to leave again for at least 2 months there are some news things that we are going to give a try.  They aren’t going to make time go faster or change the fact that he is going to leave a big hole that we won’t be able to fill but it may help us with the re-integration and give us a chance to focus on thinking on something positive.  There are often times when my husband is away and we will sit at the dinner table and talk about all the things we will do when he is back.  Many of these are good ideas but also slip our minds as the weeks pass by.  We have decided to make a “When You Are Back” box.  It is going to be set up in the kitchen with cards/paper beside it and when we think of something that we want to do when he is back, we write it on the card.  When he is back he can draw cards and choose things that he wants to do with everyone.  It will be a great way for everyone to reconnect and take some of the pressure off of having to come up with ideas when he is back and life is in full swing.  By also setting a limit of 1-2 to draw a week it will not overwhelm my husband either and make him feel as though he has to make up over 8 weeks of time all of a sudden and be all things to all people instantly.

When You Are Back Box

When You Are Back Ideas:

* Go hiking

* Read ___________ together

* See the movie _________________ together

* Take a dance class together

* Play latest version of ______________

* Go for a bike ride

* Make all our favourite foods type dinner

For more information about our tips, books and resources go to: www.whileyouwereaway.org

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1001 Tips for Military Families – Tip #444

Posted on March 12, 2013 by meganegerton

Surviving Car Trips  - Tip #444

Surviving car trips is an art form and particularly if you are doing it alone.  As a military wife, I am often “flying solo” and refuse to let life pass us by or not go on trips until my husband is home (we could be waiting for months).  Having said this, I don’t go away without some planning and prep time to ensure everyone’s survival.   It is this planning that often saves my sanity and allows my kids to see their next birthday! 

My basic must brings:  snacks, wetnaps, klennex, books, map (for them to use), pencils, markers, paper, neck pillows, tic tacs (play game of seeing who can make theirs last the longest), change (in case of toll booths), IDs and travel permissions, bottles of water, first aid kit, emergency car kit, blanket, stories on CD, music, fruit/veggies (not always easy or cheap along the way), chargers, flashlight, games, plastic bags, extra pair of shoes and socks, box of ziplock bags and camera. 

When my husband is away I also make a habit of having the kids take pictures of silly things along the way.  When we are on a trip we often get the big moments but they aren’t always the most memorable so by taking silly things along the way we can connect with their Dad in a fun way too.  When we are going on long trips we also take a poster board size picture of Dad and insert him into our pictures for fun.  It is another silly way of us keeping him a little closer.

I am also not a parent that loves to constantly just turn on a movie or have them play with their gaming systems for hours on end.  I remember car trips with my family as a time that we would talk, argue, laugh and discover different things about each other and the world (by actually looking out the window).  When I do give in the “electronic pleas” from the back seat I give a time limit or say that they can do it until we reach a certain point.  It doesn’t stop them from asking for more time but this is when I pull out the travel bingo.  It is the one game we can all agree on.  It gets them looking out the window, laughing, talking and time flies by.  Now that they are older they make their own cards too.  If car bingo doesn’t work then just find something your family can agree on and have fun with it.  The idea is really to find things to do to make time pass that don’t always include electronics. 

Until I was a parent and military wife, I never knew how exhausting going on a vacation could be! It is always worth it in the end and the memories we create are priceless but the preparation and planning are what ultimately saves me and my children!

Car Bingo

For more information about our tips, books and resources go to: www.whileyouwereaway.org  (I will also post the full sized bingo sheet)

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1001 Tips for Military Families – Tip #443

Posted on January 8, 2013 by meganegerton

Carve Out Time – Tip #443

Maketime

Each year I make the resolution that I am going to get in shape and lose weight. This past year was the first time that December arrived and I was ending a year lighter than I started and didn’t wheeze going up a flight of stairs (not exactly what I wanted but a definite step forward). My kids could still out run me without even breaking a sweat but I am getting out and making a point of being active – not something I had managed to consistently do in previous years. But as I approached 2013 I began to ask myself what made 2012 different from the past 25 years that I had made the same resolution (yes, I had the same resolution for the last 25 years!). I still have an incredibly busy life, we are still a military family and take on all the crazy ups and downs that come with it, we still have trouble not spending money we don’t have, my kids are as self centred as ever and I still have all the demands that family life brings.

I have come to the conclusion that in 2012 I made myself a priority. This is my 2013 resolution too – I will continue to carve out time for myself. I will make time to get the groceries that I need, make time to eat good meals rather than ones on the fly, make time to exercise, make time to get to bed earlier (it sounds silly but that is also time that I wasn’t making for myself), make time to do things that I enjoy doing and take the time to decide what I need to do, want to do and should say no to doing. This has made me a happier, lighter and a healthier person and I am hopeful that this will be the key to losing the next 40Lbs. Carving out time for yourself consistently is going to be met with resistance by some so be prepared. You are going to have to get comfortable with the word “no”, risk have some people think your selfish, annoy your children at times and leave your friends and family to do things for themselves at times and perhaps solve their own problems. This is not easy but the rewards are too great for me not to continue and make this my new resolution for the next 25 years.  Military life is always busy and there will always be reasons to not make time for yourself – this year challenge yourself to make time for yourself to feel better. 

Tips:

* Look at what foods you eat when you are in a hurry and how they make you feel

* Re-assess your schedule and find out where you are spending time 

* Categorize your time into MUST DO, NEED TO DO, GOOD TO DO, CAN MANAGE WITHOUT

* Let people know why you are making time for yourself

* Stick to it – show everyone what consistently looks like and feels like.  Don’t give in to the demands of others automatically

* Try to plan a time when you can go grocery shopping without running down the aisles in a mad panic

* Find a time in the day to exercise that is going to be the least interupted (for me, sadly, this is 5:45am)

For more information about our books, tips and resources go to: http://www.whileyouwereaway.org

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1001 Tips for Military Families – Tip #442

Posted on December 5, 2012 by meganegerton

To Do Wreath - Tip #442

Whenever my children tell me all the things that they love about the holidays there is very little talk about presents or things that they can’t wait to get or want.  Most of their talk is around what we do over the season – the time we spend together, the traditions or holiday events that we always take part in.  It got me to thinking that perhaps we could do a holiday countdown for the month of December and put down all the traditions and events we love doing and then do a couple a day.  Then I thought about it…  my husband is away a lot at the moment, I work full time and have to do a lot of the running of the house, taking the kids to events, sports, etc.  I decided that we would write down a list of all the things that we love to do and then rank our top 25 (of course I carefully edged them away from things that were incredibly time consuming or overwhelming to complete and tried to have a balance of short and longer time committments).  Once we had the list, we ranked them and chose our top 25.  Each day we will do one until the holidays.

I made some cards…

To Do Wreath 1

Made a wreath (coat hanger, spray painted clothes pegs, red beads and a bit of ribbon)

To Do Wreath 2

Then put the cards on the wreath for us to take off each day and do

To Do Wreath 3

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday with family and friends and get the gift of time together to relax and have some fun. 

From,

Megan & the While You Were Away team

www.whileyouwereaway.org

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1001 Tips for Military Families – Tip #441

Posted on November 20, 2012 by meganegerton

Before the Year is Over – Tip #441

Rather than waiting for another new years eve to set some goals, try doing some right now.  On your own or with your family take a look back at the year so far, things you accomplished and didn’t get to.  Use the next 6 weeks to re-evaluate what you want to accomplish before saying good-bye to 2012.  Create a fun list of things you want to do before the year is through.  Create a challenge a day or one a week and ask others to support or join you.  We can often get caught up in the chaos of Christmas and the holidays and forget to do things for ourselves each day that will bring us happiness, relaxation and a sense of accomplishment.  Some ideas could include; take a different way to work each day for a week, exercise 5 days a week for the next 6 weeks, listen to music you don’t normally like, learn all the words to __________’s favourite song, try cooking a new recipe each week, etc.

Things to do, before the year is through!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

For more information about our tips, resources and books, go to: www.whileyouwereaway.org

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1001 Tips for Military Families – Tip #440

Posted on October 15, 2012 by meganegerton

Activities Jar – Tip #440

During any absence or deployment it is important to do things you enjoy, bring you together as a family, that make you feel good about yourself and remind you that there are things you can do other than waiting for time to pass you by.  If you are anything like me during an absence (or any time for that matter), thinking about what to have for dinner can be a stretch without having to come up with things that will do what I just said.  I came up with this idea as a way of including your family members, getting a good load of ideas in advance and keeping them organized – the activity jar.

You will need any household jar, puff paint, permanent markers, paper and large coloured popsicle sticks.  Make a list of all the things that you and your family members enjoy or have fun doing.  Sit together and talk about what they consider a fun day to be, what is their favourite thing to do, think about things you consider a treat and like to do for yourself too.

You can use any jar.  I used a Mason jar and decorated it with puff paint.  It is easy to do.  If your kids are old enough to help or young enough to enjoy doing it, have them make one with you for absences and deployments.

Then write all your brainstormed ideas onto the sticks.  I colour coded them to be: over one hour, under an hour, inexpensive or free, a little more costly.

This jar is designed to take some of the thinking out of having fun.  It is also to remind you that there is life beyond waiting and that you are still able to laugh and have a good time together even if you are going through an absence or deployment.

For more information about our tips, books and resources go to: http://www.whileyouwereaway.org

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1001 Tips for Military Families – #439

Posted on September 23, 2012 by meganegerton

Anxiety and Desensitization – Tip #439

Anxiety disorders are everywhere in our world and particularly in our military lives.  There is a lot to be anxious about – change, deployments, re-integrations, new communities, school, work, and so on.  I have been working with several students on a program that seems too simple and easy to be effective and yet it is – I believe that this would be effective with every member of your family (regardless of age).  Desensitization activities are significantly impacting our students’ ability to function, move forward positively from an anxious moment and do things that at one time would have paralyzed them and completely derailed their day.  These activities can be done just about everywhere and the idea is not to do them all but find one or two that they are comfortable doing and do them when anxiety is beginning to peak.  Make sure you have a timer as 30-60 seconds is longer than you think!

Desentization Activities:

* Shake your head from side to side for 30seconds

* Lower your head between your legs, then lift it.  Repeat motion for 30 seconds

* Run in place wearing a heavy jacket for 60 seconds

* Run in place for 60 seconds

* Hold your breath for 30 seconds or as long as you can

* Tense major muscles – particularly your abdomen – for 60 seconds or as long as you can

* Spin while you sit in a swivel chair for 60 seconds or a tire swing

* Breathe rapidly for up to 60 seconds

* Breathe through a narrow straw for 120 seconds

* Stare at yourself in a mirror for 90 seconds

* Hang upside down on monkey bars for 30 seconds

* Rub your stomach and pat your head for 60 seconds

* Two inhales through your nose in a row for each exhale for 30seconds

For more information about our tips, books and resources go to: www.whileyouwereaway.org

Filed under: Military Family Support - Tips from the 101 Tips books, Re-integration Tips, Teen Tips, Tips for Educators and Deployment Support Workers | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

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